On Imaginary Reunions

Looking at some pictures of old college friends made me miss them. I'm happy to see that they have families and are doing quite well, but it made me evaluate my own life. I have neither kids nor real properties nor cars nor have traveled around the world -- but you know what, even if I don't have everything that they have, I'm honestly, sincerely happy with my life. I have an amazing, loving, hot husband, a lovable pooch and a comfortable home that we painted, fixed and outfitted ourselves. I have a good job and a small circle of fabulous friends. I couldn't ask for anything more, maybe except the travel around the world part, hehe.

I would sometimes imagine me hanging out with them again, and I'd imagine feeling so small and out-of-place and then I realize why I didn't 'keep' these folks in my tight circle of friends; I wanted other things apart from the perfect life. I wanted to backpack (back when backpacking was thought of as something that 'poor' people do), I was resigned to the fact that I was gonna be single for the rest of my life, thus, started enjoying life as a single person, and attend poetry readings and art exhibits and blow all my money on books or food or pretty petty trinkets and not on cars and it bags.

I'm thinking maybe a small part of me is jealous of what they have but this made me examine my life even closer and I realize that that small part is exactly it. Just a drop in the proverbial ocean of me. The rest of me is still that person who dreams of backpacking in Europe and making things instead of buying them, and choosing real books over an ipad.

I don't hate them, I really don't. As a matter of fact, they're some of the more important people in my life since they've let me look at myself in a different light and see the person that I needed to be. I sincerely hope that they are happy with the paths that they took in life because I certainly am.