Of Rage and Other Demons
I just found out something very profound about myself. Very much like Delroy, anger and pressure zen me out. I'm not a person who gets angered easily, but once that happens, I can turn into a monster. If you're old enough, I'm sure you remember the Incredible Hulk. He turns into a green, purple shorts-wearing monster when gripped by rage due to some screwy radiation thing that happened to him, then once it subsides, he turns back into mild mannered Bruce Banner. Same goes for me. After the initial rage, everything inside me quiets down and with much introspection, I learn to come to terms with whatever it was that angered me.

I had a spell last weekend, a very bad spitting rage akin to a level 5 tornado ripping through a sleepy Kansas town, complete with very spiteful words and hot tears of frustration. I'm calm now and at peace with myself, although I know I cannot look at the person who caused this the same way again. I still respect her, yes, but I'll always see her as the person who cut out the joy in what I'm doing here. Which is, in a way, good because it strengthened my resolve that there is definitely something better out there, and there's no other way but up, up and away. Thanks, Kilikili for listening.

I am the queen of zen.

Pauper
I'll definitely be one if I don't stop this...
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